I love Surprises! I love the happy feeling of something that happens unexpectedly! As adults be rarely get surprised anymore, we mostly lose that as we grow up- and I never want to lose that, little did I know that 2017 would hold for me the surprise of my LIFE!
I was sitting at my desk one Thursday morning at work, I can’t exactly remember what I was doing at the time, but I suddenly realized that I had to make my monthly trip to the pharmacy. And it was like a light went on.
I don’t know why I bought a pregnancy test that day, but something told me to. I was going on a business trip the following week to china and there would be a lot of weird foods and alcohol at dinner, I had to be sure to not do harm where it is not necessary.
At dinner that evening I non-chillingly told my husband about the test that I bought, I felt a little silly, like I’ve just actually wasted our money, I mean this is stupid! I’m definitely not pregnant. He smiled and said that’s the weirdest thing, I asked him why and he said, he randomly had a thought that morning, and the thought was that, maybe we should have kids?
I woke up the next morning at 3:30am, I took the pregnancy test and did the thing – again almost not taking the test, again thinking this is sooooo stupid..
I got dressed for my 4:00am run and just before I went out the door I remembered to check the test – I remembered reading that if you leave it for longer than 15min, the results could be defective? Anyway I ran up the stairs, my husband was eating breakfast in the dining room.
As I got to the bathroom my heart stopped….
I felt very overwhelmed, I had no words, I just started crying, and stared at the results, surprised at what I was seeing, it had never been positive before.. I took all the packaging and the instructions and walked down to my husband. I couldn’t say a word….
He smiled at me and laughed and kept asking what’s wrong, I handed the test and all its goodies to him and he again just smiled,
“What is wrong with this man? Why is he smiling?!”
He gestured for me to sit on his lap, not saying a word. I sat down and he quietly started reading all the instructions on the information booklet.
He put everything down, finished his breakfast, and kissed me on the forehead, still saying nothing, me still balling my eyes out!
He looked at me and said “don’t discuss this with anyone, just make a doctor’s appointment”
That’s exactly what I did.
I went for my run after he left. I had to fight back crying, and also had to keep telling myself everything is going to be ok, it was a roller-coaster of emotions. I had been sick and had a few rough months behind me, my hormones could be confused. It’s the strangest feeling, being excited, scared and confused all in one. Not being able to talk to anyone about it.
The day took forever to end, and my girlfriends and work asked about the results of the test. I felt bad lying to them, but I found myself in a much more serious situation than I thought.
Woke up the next morning before the doctors appointment and I made our usual Mielie pap and coffee, like clockwork, when I took the Mielie pap out of the microwave to stir, the smell hit me and my body was just like-
“ohhhhh-no, I do not like this!'”
That was the first sign, and I suddenly remember the same nausea the previous weekend, we had been out with family and I just blamed it on something I ate…
Anybody that know me well enough knows I have a very strong stomach, I’m the Ginny-pig that tries everything first, I never get sick, and I can literally ingest anything and be fine.
We went to the doctor and when it was our turn and the doctor asked how she could help, I just broke down, My Husband Laughed and explained the situation. She smiled and asked me to get on the bed. She did some normal blood pressure tests, pushed my belly, and asked questions. I tried to answer without crying, she could clearly see I was surprised and very overwhelmed.
She sent me to do blood work. The hospital bloodwork office was very busy, when it was my turn my husband said to the nurse:
Husband: “You’re very busy?”
Nurse: “Yes, it’s insane! I need a drink!”
Me looking at the nurse: “Me TOO!”
My husband just laughed after I said that – the nurse smiled and promised I wouldn’t feel a thing, I don’t actually think she realized that I was NOT talking about the bloody needle. They promised to have the results to the doctor within 2 hours.
We went home and waited, it felt like forever. The possibility of this being true had started to get to me, I mean now I’m secretly getting excited, and what if it is negative, then I’ve gotten excited for no reason. I had the worst headache and felt sick to my stomach – most probably from all the stress of the past 2 days. I just laid on the couch, and after a scruciating 4 Hours, my phone rang.
I was so nervous I nearly threw my husband with the phone, He answered and told the doctor I was to nervous to speak to her. They spoke for a while and the phone was quite loud, so I heard what she said..
“She is definitely Pregnant – about 4-5 weeks, pretty early but it is for sure positive”
I was exhausted – I had a race that afternoon but I was simply not up to it, I felt like someone had pulled out the carpet from under me, and the worst part was, finding out so early meant that I Couldn’t tell anyone for another 7 weeks!
I felt, and still feel very overwhelmed, but now also excited.
My career was just lifting off, I had my first international business trip coming up, and we just bought a house. I was getting in touch with a running coach, prepping for Cape Town marathon and the peace trail race, and planning on crushing AfricaX in 2018 to be followed by other glorious trail races that would help me get more serious in my professional running career. I wanted that, and I still want that, really really badly…
Some time has passed now, and my husband and I both have gotten more use to the reality that face us. I’m actually excited now..Certain events have a way of putting life and whats important in perspective for you, and I think this is one of those events.
I know in the beginning of this post it might not have seemed very excited, but it really was a BIG surprise, we always talked about having kids, but when it actually happens you realize the huge responsibility that you have – But I don’t think it was an accident, mistake or a ‘Oopsie’ I don’t think God makes those, I think he just has another plan for me right now and it simply just is not the same as what I had planned – but I’ll roll with this if it’s his plan. And plus my coach said most women run better after child birth – He’s not sure why but maybe it makes us stronger in a way?
As the weeks pass I get more and more excited. There are up’s and down and in the following weeks I will be posting about my training whilst being pregnant, I really struggled to find good hearty articles surrounding this – apart from the usual ‘Tips’ on running pregnant which all say the same dam thing. I want to know how you felt running pregnant – not what your doctor recommends, mine will probably just recommend the same….
So keep an eye on my training logs to follow my journey – I promise I’ll tell you everything. 😉